Cheri Valentine on “Where all all the good men?”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 30, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Ever wonder where all the good men are? My friend and relationship intuitive Cheri Valentine has some specific examples of where you can start meeting men today. Enjoy!
In searching for Mr. Right, my clients often ask, “Where can I find good men?” Many women do not enjoy going to bars and feel like a fish out of water when they do go. Other people think they are too busy to look.
Since Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge is all about getting you out from behind the computer and meeting men in every day life, let’s be clear. You CAN find men anywhere doing what you already do. This works best when you are living your life from a place of presence and joy. When you are happy with yourself, and your life, you will attract and be drawn to others who are also happy with themselves and their life. You connect without even trying by just being open. Of course, you must believe this is possible. However, it is helpful to have a little more guidance, so I offer you the following…
1. Choose venues where you can effectively meet people who can be likely potential partners. The more aligned the venue is with your interests and values, the higher rate of success you will experience.
2. Have an open mind about dating, enjoy the people you meet, and be present when dealing with people.
3. Be yourself. Stay true to yourself. This begins with knowing who you are, what you want, trusting that you will meet the right one for you, and committing to wait until you meet him. Until you do meet Mr. Right, evaluate each experience for the lesson that makes your life and search for your perfect partner richer.
4. Remember to smile. Smiling sends a message that you are open and welcome the opportunity to engage with another. Say hello. Initiate conversation and practice this art often. Don’t wait for someone to approach you. Remember how amazing you are!
5. Be willing to attend venues alone to scout out potential cuties. How romantic to meet Mr. Right in front of your favorite painting at the museum or watching underwater sea life at the aquarium. Open your mind to who looks interesting. You can learn so much from talking to people, so don’t narrow your vista to what you think is “your type.” That hasn’t worked so well for you in the past.
6. Stay open and receptive when in PUBLIC SETTINGS – the grocery store, post office, coffee shop, and work place, at the ball field where your children play sports, or the playground, beach, amusement parks. You can meet people anywhere; so do not discount these public places as a way to meet someone who could have your top requirements.
Beyond meeting men in every day life, you’ll want to put yourself out there in 3 specific venues:
GENERIC SINGLE EVENTS such as singles dances or single gatherings of any kind, personal ads, dating services, internet dating sites. You are getting a bit more specific where you will meet people who are single. If you are using a dating site, remember this is to find potentials and meet them. Get out from behind that computer once you’ve connected and make real contact.
SPECIAL INTEREST ACTIVITIES like ski club, hiking club, chess club or any club that is of interest to you, photography class, art class, etc. Here you can meet people who have more in common with you besides being single. It is also an opportunity to make friends and build a community of support even with people who are not single. Married people have single friends. Single friends have single friends, and so on.
HIGLY ALLIGNED COMMUNITIES that share your values, interests, goals, and passions like church communities, social activist groups, and spiritual organizations. This is also a great place to ask for help in meeting single friends from the members in these communities. By asking for help, and letting people know you are actively looking to find the right person for you, you increase the numbers of men to meet.
Part of finding Mr. Right is being a happy single who is living your life fully. When you are living life, enjoying your present moments and taking in life for the pure pleasure and experience it offers, you are in a far better position to meet your future love partner, one who also is happily living their life while waiting to meet you. Remember the law of attraction is always at work!
About The Expert
As a Relationship Intuitive and Love Strategist, Cheri Valentine has been cooking up recipes for attracting ideal relationships. She has successfully guided men and women through the maze of Relating, Dating & Mating on a transformational journey to love that is perfect for them. She is the creator of 90 Days 2 Love Attraction Collaborative and will be releasing her book, 90 Days 2 Love – Transforming Your Love Life from the Inside Out this fall. She can be found at http://www.cherivalentine.com/
Day 8: Are you hung up on your ex?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
Be honest — Are you hung up on your ex?
If you secretly believe your ex was The One, that your chance at getting love right went out the window when your last relationship did, or that you’ll never meet anyone better than your ex, you’ll be right.
You’ll also be miserable and alone.
If you really want to rock my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, today’s the day to break free from the belief that your ex was The One and instead embrace the fact that your happily ever after future still exists. With someone else. In your FUTURE.
Once your ex is off his pedestal, you are free to meet someone new. Someone better suited for you. Even if you haven’t met him yet, he is out there. It’s up to you to do the work to find him.
And remember, this should be FUN! Start implementing my daily video tips and the other advice posted on my blog during the challenge. And report your progress.
For additional support breaking free from limiting beliefs about your love future, get a copy of my e-book Bad Love No More: How to kick limiting relationship beliefs to the curb and say yes to real and lasting love!
Day 16: Are Fairytales F***ing With Your Head?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
Do you believe Prince Charming is out there?
Are you waiting for your White Knight?
Or worse, do you believe in The Bad Boy With The Heart of Gold?
Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. This is 2010. And fairytales are seriously f***ing with your head!
Only when you break free from any sabotaging beliefs about love can real love show up.
So wake up, kick off those glass slippers, and get ready for the real love deal. It's so much better than the fantasy anyway.
To help break free from fairytale trap and any other lies your mother told you growing up, pick up a copy of my book If He's Not The One, Who Is? What went wrong and what it takes to find Mr. Right.
And be sure to share your success with me here on the blog. I'd love to hear from you!
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
Day 18: Want to find Mr. Right? Fall madly in love with yourself!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 29, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Psst…Want to know the surest way to have a man fall madly in love with you?
Fall in love with yourself!
The truth is, we teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. When you fall madly in love with yourself, warts and all, you show the universe that you have compassion.
You show the people in your life how healthy and happy you are. And that’s attractive to a good man.
Think about it. Would a healthy and happy man really want to get to know someone who was miserable?
No. And since the only kind of man you want to attract is someone who’s healthy and happy on his own, you must become healthy and happy, too. And that starts with falling madly in love with yourself.
Today, make a list of 20 reasons why you’re a fabulous catch. Give yourself permission to gloat with glee. Have fun doing this! The more you can connect to all the fun and fabulous ways you rock, the more you can celebrate yourself.
Again, the surest way to magnetize a man who will love and appreciate you is to love and appreciate yourself. This may feel challenging at first. Don’t give up. Keep at it. Practice makes perfect!
Once you’re madly in love with yourself, revisit your relationship goals. Reconnect to how you want love to look and feel. And then be open to meeting healthy and happy man wherever you go.
Above all else, have FUN!
For hands on help pick up a copy of my e-book Bad Love No More! and my latest book If He’s Not The One, Who Is: What went wrong and what it takes to find Mr. Right.
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
Day 15: Are you a dating extremist?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
Do you only date in extremes — the nice, boring guy or the crazy bad boy? (Think Drew Barrymore and Justin Long vs. Drew Barrymore and that Fabrizio Moretti)
Stop it already!
It’s time to wise up, date differently, and get a different result.
Instead of yo-yoing between men who bore you and men who infuriate you, why not find a more satisfying middle ground? Men who appreciate you, call you, like you, respect you, want to spend time getting to know you…
Seriously, if you want to change your dating results, stop the extreme dating and START dating in the middle. It’s NOT boring. It’s freeing and fabulous!
Kimberly Seltzer on How to Become A Man Magnet
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
A woman walks into the room and a group of men flock to her like a magnet.
“What is it about her?” you ask.
Maybe it’s because she’s beautiful, maybe it is because she has a hot body, or maybe it’s because she has shiny hair.
That “it” factor, however, is way simpler than you may think. The “it” factor has to do with one key ingredient to make any man melt and that is…. confidence.
Confidence! It’s how a woman owns what she has and is comfortable in her own skin.
As a relationship expert, I’m lucky I get to coach both men and women. Every man I coach tells me the same thing…. that they find a confident woman who knows who she is extremely attractive and sexy. Unfortunately, many women struggle with their confidence, are constantly comparing themselves to others and pick themselves apart. Even more challenging, women have been socialized to take care of and compliment others, not themselves. And then to make matters worse, the more we give, the more empty we feel and then focus on the wrong things.
So how do you ask can you whip up a batch of confidence when you don’t have all of the ingredients? Simple…you just have to shop around, study the merchandise and then put it all together to make it your own. In other words, there are some simple things you can do that can help build your confidence and attract that man when you are out and about or on a date:
- Smile at everyone around you. Invite people into your world.
- Make eye contact, look away, and then make it again. Show him you are interested!
- Dress sexily, subtly and comfortable. Embrace what you have and own it NO MATTER WHAT YOUR BODY TYPE IS.
- Be feminine—wear skirts, giggle, create softness, be light and open.
- Laugh and have a sense of humor.
- Listen to what he says and be interested.
- Let him take care of you (i.e. paying the bill, opening doors, providing information).
- Ignite the chase and create intrigue and mystery.
- Look sexually alive with the way you use your body and what you wear. Bare your neck and ears which signals that you are available.
- Be the person everyone wants to meet and create an energy around you—look friendly and approachable.
- Pause as you walk in a room and lazily scan for someone, then walk slow noticing who and what is around you; walk slow and sexy.
- Get personal, be interesting in the conversation, tell stories, share yourself and reveal your feelings about things.
- Show enthusiasm in your facial expressions and show variance in your tonality when speaking.
- Let him chase you; don’t be too available and easy.
- Position your body to be open and available, even when talking to your girlfriends.
- Touch him lightly during conversation.
When I coach men and women, we are out in the grocery stores, the farmers market, coffee shops and many other places you might be during your regular day practicing these techniques. Women are often amazed at how doing some of these subtle gestures can get great and quick results. They also don’t realize what they are doing to actually be repelling the men! But that is a whole other blog. I promise that after studying and implementing some of these ingredients, you’ll start creating a recipe for success in feeling good about yourself and attracting that man no matter where you are. And that’s what Lisa’s 30 Day Challenge is all about. So get out there, have fun, and get noticed!
About The Expert
Kimberly Seltzer is a dating coach, personal image expert, and therapist who is committed in making positive changes in others inside and out. Kimberly owns Elite Image Makeovers which combines using coaching and styling to create an amazing image that positively reflects who you are. She also works with David Wygant, America’s most sought after dating expert, coaching men and women to improve their dating, relationships, and intimacy through boot camps, seminars and private coaching.
Day 14: Do you feel ungrateful about your love life?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 28, 2011 - 7:00 AM
While it’s perfectly normal to want to have love in your life, if you feel ungrateful for the love already IN your life, you’ll never make room for more.
Starting today and every day moving forward in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, give thanks for the many extraordinary gifts in your life. From your family to friends to pets to your home, you are BLESSED.
When you celebrate what’s already HERE, you make room for so much more to show up, including a grateful and appreciative man.
And once that amazing man shows up, practice gratitude for him, get your flirt on, implement these tips for having meaningful conversation, and enjoy!
Julie Spira on How to Be Single and Ready to Mingle
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
Today, you’re getting great tips from Julie Spira, a.k.a. The Cyber-Dating Expert. Find out how to rock your single and ready to mingle self with her amazing advice!
Perhaps you’re newly single and you’re waiting for your friends to fix you up. Before the phone starts to ring with potential dates excited about meeting you, you need to get in shape. Just like exercising before the summer to lose weight and fit into that bikini, you need to get ready to go out there and shine like the star that you are.
Here are some of my favorite pre-dating tips on how to get ready for your hot date. Try implementing them during Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
1.Leave the Baggage Behind.
If you are still pining away for your ex, have a conversation with yourself about why you are no longer together. Better yet, take a piece of paper and write down some of the negative traits to remind you it’s time to move on. Was he controlling? Did he have a roving eye? A bit too jealous? You need to dismantle him from the pedestal he was on and get ready for a new and exciting beginning. No guy is going to want to hear about the one who broke your heart. I have a saying, “Every Relationship Serves a Purpose, But is Limited.” Stand in front of the mirror and repeat it. It truly works.
2.Dress the Part.
How you dress tells a story. Men love to unwrap the package, so don’t reveal too much. A man will undress you with his eyes, even on your first date. It doesn’t mean he’s ready to jump into bed with you. Be subtle, and it’s still sexy. It’s just not an instant invitation to the bedroom.
3.Embrace Your Girlfriend Network.
Let everyone you know you would like to be fixed up. Mention it at the nail salon and hairdresser. Have a conversation at the post office with someone you might recognize. Find a supportive network of women who are single and can understand what it’s like to be in between relationships. Create a “Girls Night Out” which could include a movie with pre or post film cocktails. Dress flirty and smile. Let the men wonder, “Who’s that Girl?”
4.Practice the Art of Flirting.
Smile at men at the grocery store. Introduce yourself to the cute guy on the airplane. Compliment a man on his stylish tie at a business mixer. Even if you aren’t meeting the one, perhaps he has a friend he can introduce you to. 5.Cast a Wide Net. Join an online dating site. Accept every invitation that you can for both business and social events. Realize that the handsome chap you are having a conversation with may not ask you out on a date, but he could invite you and your girlfriends to a fun summer party. You may not click on a date, but what if he becomes your next big client? A date isn’t always about meeting “the one.”
Exercise your heart with these tune-up tips and you’ll be ready to mingle with a smile on your face and be open to all of the possibilities this summer and beyond.
About The Expert
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at http://cyberdatingexpert.com/.
Morgana Rae on Love Magnet Magic
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
There’s nothing more attractive to what you want, especially in realms of romance and love, than feeling good about yourself. And nothing kills your sense of self worth faster than settling for what doesn’t make you happy.
There’s a nasty little trend going around the love advice community, telling women (and men) that they should lower their standards, that they’re wrong to hold out for that special someone they admire, respect, and desire. Can you imagine? In fact there’s a best selling book out there that argues women should settle for whoever will take them. This is a perfect formula for couples who don’t feel worthy of love. (No wonder there are so many unhappy marriages out there!)
Let’s not even go there. Before you step out on your first date, we want to supercharge your love magnet with easy, authentic, happy self-confidence. Nothing to prove and nothing to buy, and you’ll feel the difference immediately. Here’s the secret:
When clients are stuck and not manifesting their desires, I have them take a look at what they’re tolerating in their lives. What do they put up with that drains their energy? Where are they settling?
We all have tolerations: those people, things, or habits that drain our energy, dim our life enjoyment. It could be a messy desk, or a critical relative, or not taking care of your health. We may have become so accustomed to certain tolerations that we feel that’s just the way life is. We don’t think we have a choice. We feel powerless, and that sense of powerlessness bleeds into other areas of our lives.
Every time you settle, you are telling the universe that “this is good enough,” and you are telling yourself, “I don’t deserve better.” If that’s your message, of course you’ll keep getting more of the same! When you’re life is full of settling, you aren’t leaving room for what you really want, especially in love.
Turning this around is easy. Make a list of what you’re tolerating: the things in your life that don’t make you happy. Then pick out ONE toleration to tackle. I recommend starting with the smallest. A little goes a long way. The smallest changes build your energy and confidence, and give you a platform for the next change.
Make it EASY. Try giving old clothes away to Good Will. Or clearing your desk. Or changing lightbulb. Or spending less time with a critical friend. When you clear something up in one area of your life, you’ve created energetic space that will impact the rest of your life. My clients have won awards, lost weight, received money out of the blue, attracted new business and found soul mates when they stopped settling in other areas of their lives. When in doubt, clean your house. It’s all connected.
Saying no to what no longer serves changes how you show up on your dates. You’ll notice that your standards rise naturally, and not from a place of neediness. You’ll find yourself attracting people who want to live up to your desires.
You’ll also catch “red flags” faster and find it easier to let go of the wrong guys quickly.
Hold out for what you really want, in love and in life. You train the universe how to treat you by how you treat yourself. You don’t want to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Treat yourself like a queen so you can magnetize your king.
About The Expert
Morgana Rae is an internationally acclaimed life coach, author, and professional speaker, and regarded as the world’s top relationship with money coach. In her quest to bring more love to life, she has shared platforms with major thought leaders like Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, John Gray and T Harv Eker. Check out her life changing books, CDs, interviews and articles at www.abundanceandprosperity.com, and download her award winning money magnet mp3.
Julie Spira on How to Be Single and Ready to Mingle
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 27, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Today, you’re getting great tips from Julie Spira, a.k.a. The Cyber-Dating Expert. Find out how to rock your single and ready to mingle self with her amazing advice!
Perhaps you’re newly single and you’re waiting for your friends to fix you up. Before the phone starts to ring with potential dates excited about meeting you, you need to get in shape. Just like exercising before the summer to lose weight and fit into that bikini, you need to get ready to go out there and shine like the star that you are.
Here are some of my favorite pre-dating tips on how to get ready for your hot date. Try implementing them during Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
1.Leave the Baggage Behind.
If you are still pining away for your ex, have a conversation with yourself about why you are no longer together. Better yet, take a piece of paper and write down some of the negative traits to remind you it’s time to move on. Was he controlling? Did he have a roving eye? A bit too jealous? You need to dismantle him from the pedestal he was on and get ready for a new and exciting beginning. No guy is going to want to hear about the one who broke your heart. I have a saying, “Every Relationship Serves a Purpose, But is Limited.” Stand in front of the mirror and repeat it. It truly works.
2.Dress the Part.
How you dress tells a story. Men love to unwrap the package, so don’t reveal too much. A man will undress you with his eyes, even on your first date. It doesn’t mean he’s ready to jump into bed with you. Be subtle, and it’s still sexy. It’s just not an instant invitation to the bedroom.
3.Embrace Your Girlfriend Network.
Let everyone you know you would like to be fixed up. Mention it at the nail salon and hairdresser. Have a conversation at the post office with someone you might recognize. Find a supportive network of women who are single and can understand what it’s like to be in between relationships. Create a “Girls Night Out” which could include a movie with pre or post film cocktails. Dress flirty and smile. Let the men wonder, “Who’s that Girl?”
4.Practice the Art of Flirting.
Smile at men at the grocery store. Introduce yourself to the cute guy on the airplane. Compliment a man on his stylish tie at a business mixer. Even if you aren’t meeting the one, perhaps he has a friend he can introduce you to. 5.Cast a Wide Net. Join an online dating site. Accept every invitation that you can for both business and social events. Realize that the handsome chap you are having a conversation with may not ask you out on a date, but he could invite you and your girlfriends to a fun summer party. You may not click on a date, but what if he becomes your next big client? A date isn’t always about meeting “the one.”
Exercise your heart with these tune-up tips and you’ll be ready to mingle with a smile on your face and be open to all of the possibilities this summer and beyond.
About The Expert
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at http://cyberdatingexpert.com/.
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