Ready To Rock Your Summer Of Love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 3, 2012 - 2:20 AM
If you’re like most people who are single and don’t want to be, chances are you’d like to meet someone who’s your equal partner, best friend, and can become the love of your life.
You’re not looking for just ANYONE…you’re looking for your SOULMATE.
And that’s why I’m inviting you to join me and the BIGGEST and BEST names in the relationship world for…
The Attract Your Soulmate Now! F*ree Online Event
According to Soulmate Expert and best-selling author, Arielle Ford, the definition of a Soulmate is: “Someone with whom you can completely be yourself, share unconditional love with and when you look into each other’s eyes you have the experience of being home.”
I couldn’t agree more!
You see, Arielle met her Soulmate, Brian, at the age of 43. The experience of love she received in their relationship changed her life forever.
Ever since then she’s made it her mission in life to help other people manifest their own Soulmate…and she’s gone on to impact hundreds of thousands of people from all corners of the globe!
This summer she’s doing something really special. She’s tracked down some of the world’s leading love experts and brought them together for a never-before-experienced NO COST online series she is hosting called, Attract Your Soulmate Now!
It begins on July 10 for eight awe-inspiring days. Over 45 thought leaders and luminaries are ready to share their time-tested lessons to fast-track the process of bringing your SOULMATE to you.
Attract Your Soulmate Now! Reserve Your F*R*E*E Spot
Enjoy the wisdom and proven techniques of these world-renowned relationship experts including:
- Harville Hendrix
- John Gray
- Don Miguel Ruiz
- Gay Hendricks
- Alison Armstrong
- Neale Donald Walsch
- Debbie Ford
- Bruce Lipton
- Colette Baron Reid
- Marci Shimoff
- Cherie Carter Scott
- Katherine Woodward Thomas
- Nick Ortner
- Evan Marc Katz
- AND many, many more (including moi!)
Plus, master panelists will share their best practices around releasing emotional blocks, improving self-love & confidence, cracking the man code, sex, dating, and the law of attraction.
You’ll also hear from real-life Soulmate couples who have already blazed the trail to discover their own soul connections. They are shining examples of how you, too, can supercharge your own love vibration to attract your Soulmate–NOW!
Attract Your Soulmate Now! Reserve Your F*R*E*E Spot
Remember, thanks to Arielle and the generosity of her sponsors, this series is delivered to you at absolutely NO CHARGE to listen.
Take just a minute to imagine what life will be like with your Soulmate by your side…
Visualize waking up to see your partner’s loving eyes looking at you, smiling… (it feels REALLY good!)
Imagine planning your days, weeks, and years together… (this is AMAZING!)
He (or she) is by your side, giving you strength for those inevitable tough times. (I couldn’t be raising The Wee One without The Hubs!)
Your Soulmate is that person who sees your beauty, who fully appreciates you, who encourages you to excel, and is a partner who is totally committed to you.
Your Soulmate DOES exist, and sharing your lives together can be like living each day in a happy, blissful state.
Don’t let false beliefs, old heartache or uninformed dating strategies hold you back. The techniques these experts will share with you have already helped hundreds of thousands of people all over the world to manifest their Soulmates.
Now it’s YOUR turn.
Attract Your Soulmate Now! Reserve Your F*R*E*E Spot
When you register and join in this FREE online series, you’ll discover surefire strategies to manifest the love of your life, including how to:
- Move on from the past
- Break through emotional blocks
- Discover powerful manifestation tools
- Create successful dating strategies
- Be inspired and empowered to make love happen
Each of these Soulmate experts holds a critical key that will help you attract and create the kind of connection your heart yearns for.
To make 2012 the year you find your Soulmate, I encourage you to take advantage of this opportunity right now and register for the event today.
Attract Your Soulmate Now! Reserve Your F*R*E*E Spot
PLUS, don’t forget to implement ALL the tips from my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge For Singles, including the incredible advice from my fellow relationship experts, including Arielle!
And if you’re REALLY ready to magnetize Mr. Right, grab your copy of my e-book How to Meet Your Husband, featuring the 5 success secrets I implemented the summer I met my husband. (This stuff WORKS!)
Sherri Nickols on 7 Steps to Sparkle!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 30, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Are you one of the millions of women who have forgotten who you are? Do you desire to be playful, sensual, enchanting but don’t remember how (or maybe never learned)? Are you stuck in a daily routine that leaves you asking, “ Where did that fun-loving, sexy woman go?”
Face it. You’ve changed. Somewhere along the way, you lost your Self.
During Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I invite you to rediscover your Self.
Finding the road back to your feminine, sparkling essence is easier than you might think. As women, we need to know how to connect with our “Enchantress” energy, our innate juiciness so we can feel and live fully.
It’s time to acknowledge your inherent beauty; embrace with gratitude your womanhood; honor and respect your divine light; wake up and discover the playful, adventurous woman in you!
When you give yourself permission to live in this radiant state you will be able to attract all the goodies of life. How do you achieve this dazzling state? By retrieving and polishing your sassy sparkle with consistency and conscious actions.
To make it easy for you to get the sludge off your shine, here is a simple 7-step formula that spells out S.P.A.R.K.L.E.
S… Is for Smile
Smiling lights you up from the inside out. No matter what you look like flashing your pearly whites will always make you sparkle and your eyes twinkle. And it’s the quickest way to communicate your joy, happiness, love, friendliness and approachability. On the flirtatious side, a smile is equivalent to a feminine lair—inviting a man into your space.. Smiling is always a win-win.
P… Is for Passion
Passion is that effusive energy that screams, “I’m ALIVE.” It brings vibrancy to your entire being showcasing your gorgeous goddess spirit. Passion seduces everyone in its path with its fiery flames. If you want to captivate your man simply figure out what ignites your soul.
A… Is for Attitude
A positive attitude is more than a cheery disposition—it’s connecting, owning and embracing the fullness of who you are. It’s the brilliant mastery of recognizing the negative aspects that you face, and choosing instead to focus on the hope and opportunity available within every situation.. It’s approaching life with grace and gratitude and living in expansion—trying new things, exploring new thoughts, embarking on new adventures.
R… Is for Rumba
Conjure images from this sexy Cuban dance as you move through your day. Hips swaying and lots of sensual movement. Create a stir girl! The awareness of how you are moving will help you become present to your feminine power. Don’t let this stop with your body—carry the captivation into your clothes, hair and facial expression. It all works together to make you tantalizing.
K… Is for “Know Who You Are and What You Stand For”
Getting back to who you are means living authentically in your truth. You have a beautiful, intimate bond with your inner self. There is no seeking of external approval and you steer clear of people pleasing. Pride and reverence describe how you feel about your values.
L… Is for Laughter
Laughter is the sunshine of your soul and creates instant connection. As a woman you have an innate gift of flirtatiousness, playfulness, softness—this is your feminine power. Make playtime as important as work time and mom time. You wouldn’t blow off a client would you? So why are you blowing off your need for fun and romantic adventure? Put it in your weekly planner and then do it!
E… Is for Embrace Your Enchantress
Living as the enchantress you were born to be requires balancing your softness with your power. Know when to flip from doing to being. Give yourself permission to get in touch with your sensual side, and more importantly, get comfortable with it! Rediscover how to play and flirt, be sassy and sensual, and create the love and romance you dream of.
Follow the S.P.A.R.K.L.E. secrets and you will find your shining authentic Self again, living fully with joie de vivre!
About The Expert
For more than ten years, relationship coach Sherri Nickols has helped career-driven female professionals and “Super Moms” from around the globe get their sparkle on, empowering them to live fully Self-expressed in love and life.
She inspires women to recapture their feminine strengths while re-establishing the love, intimacy, playfulness and connection with their partner, friends and Self via her weekly teleseminar series, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” TelePlayshop courses, private coaching and blog at www.UnleashYourself.com.
Read yesterday’s expert article.
Bobbi Palmer on Setting Your Goals and Being Courageous
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 29, 2012 - 7:00 AM
I meet so many amazing women who are over the age of 40 and truly believe time has run out on their chance to find Mr. Right. That’s why I’m THRILLED to share Bobbi Palmer’s advice for smart, savvy, grown up women on how to live and date fearlessly. Enjoy!
One of my father’s favorite sayings is “it’s a good thing to want.” I used to think that was his sarcastic way of brushing off my wishes and dreams as a child. Now I understand that he meant it literally.
It’s our desire for things that propels us to achieve. It’s why we a have a good job or career, good friends, and comfort in our lives.
For me, when it came to finding my life partner, the space between the desire and the achievement seemed monumental. There were so many things in my life that I had “conquered” but I just couldn’t figure the man thing out.
Conversely, there are things I thought I didn’t want, and ultimately realized I did. That was true of my desire to be married. For a long time (into my 30s), I was convinced that marriage wasn’t something I wanted in my life. But I finally admitted that it was something I badly wanted…and I found my spectacular life partner at 47, when I was a first time bride.
Once I truly acknowledged I wanted it – and said it out loud – the scale tipped from fear to desire – and I set out to claim it. Here are some steps I took to get there:
1.Be honest and go for it.
2.Some things are just too important to let get away.
Finding a great guy and lasting love is one of those things. Forgo your fear, overcome your disappointment, and let yourself feel the need and desire to connect with a man who loves and adores you.
Get honest with yourself and if you haven’t already, go do as Lisa says on Day 18. Make your Why I’m a Great Catch list, and fall madly in love with yourself. Make sure it’s your grownup gal making the list; not the insecure 18 year old girl who judged based on what 18 year old boys wanted. Then go out and attract a real man who brings you what you want and need. You won’t let yourself settle for less.
3.Put it out there.
In life, getting what you want often involves making it known that you want it. In dating, that means letting men know when you are interested. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen women lose opportunities to get to know nice men because they didn’t put out the “I’m interested” vibe.
4.The idea that men want to hunt creates all kinds of assumptions and forces all kinds of behavior.
Yes, many men want some challenge and are turned off by women who fawn over them; especially right off. But most men, especially mature and confident men, need to feel they have a chance with you before they really go for it. No one likes rejection. And these men don’t want to waste their time chasing something they can’t catch.
5.When you’re interested, let him know.
Laugh at his jokes, tell him that you enjoy his company, or that he’s much better looking than his picture (if you connected online). Best yet, simply tell him you’d like to see him again. Then, let him make the next move.
6.You shouldn’t feel any fear around this.
Worst case, if it’s not reciprocated, you’ll get over it and you will have helped him feel good about himself. It’s a great kindness to men. (Believe me, you’ll get past the minor rejection of a guy in line at the bank not returning your interest. You’ve overcome way worst things than that, right?) Best case, he’ll feel safe and welcome and go for it. He might end up being the hot man you spend your life with.
7.Doing the same thing you are doing now won’t work.
As you know, most things don’t just come to us. Otherwise, Mr. I Love You would be knocking on your door right now. The fact that you’re reading this tells me that this is challenging to you. Achieving difficult goals like this requires planning and overt effort.
Take what you’ve learned during Lisa’s fantastic 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, do the exercises and action steps; then create a game plan. It may be taking classes and reading books and blogs; calling the man who got away; asking friends to set you up; or making an appointment with a coach or therapist. But doing the same thing you are doing now won’t change anything. It will simply render the same result.
8.Take courageous action.
Having the awareness is only the beginning. Then you need to act on it to actually effect change and get what you want. As you do with other areas of your life, clearly define and vigorously pursue your goals of dating happily and finding your mate. This takes courage!!
Acknowledging that this is missing in your life, and that you really want it, can be incredibly scary and difficult. I lived it, and I don’t take it lightly. But the payoff is remarkable and, I believe, among the most wonderful things you can do for yourself in your lifetime. Because of this, there is a lot of room for disappointment and emotional upheaval. No matter, you want it; now go for it.
About The Expert
Bobbi Palmer is a dating and relationship coach, speaker, blogger, and author helping smart, independent women find meaningful love while enjoying the dating along the way. (She should know…she followed her own advice and married the man of her dreams at 47!) You can read her blog and take her Man-O-Meter Test at http://datelikeagrownup.com.
Read yesterday’s expert article.
Eris Huemer on “Are All Men Jerks?”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 28, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Are you at the point in your life where you say to yourself, “All Men Are Jerks!”?
One of the things that I hear my women clients (and gay male friends) say over and over again when they first come to me is:
“Where have all of the good men gone?”
Or, “All of the good guys are taken!”
Do you have a history of dating the same “Mr. Wrongs” over and over again?
Do you seem to repeat the same issues in relationships time and time again?
If so, then it’s easy to believe that ALL MEN ARE JERKS.
The truth is that all men are NOT TAKEN and NOT EVERY ONE IS A JERK.
As you continue rocking Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I invite you to change your beliefs about men.
Of course there are some situations where the man is not on his “best behavior.” So, why were you with him in the first place? And even more importantly – why did you stay?
The question for you is: what are you doing in your relationships that attract the same men and situations over and over again? What is it in you that you need to heal? See, it’s not all about him and what he is doing or has done.
IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
Thinking that all men are jerks is a limiting belief on love.
More limiting beliefs about love are:
* All men cheat. They can’t be trusted.
* All good men are taken/married.
* I don’t deserve love.
* There is no love for me.
* I am unlovable.
* I don’t deserve to be loved.
* Love doesn’t really exist or last.
* Who would want me? I’m too old, fat, unattractive…
* I’m too busy to date.
* Love is pain, so I don’t want it
I suggest that you change your negative thinking and know that there are great guys (and girls) out there. Shift your Limited Beliefs on love to Unlimited Beliefs about the Abundance of love.
A few common examples are:
* There are faithful and committed men. They can be trusted.
* There are many available men.
* I deserve love.
* I have so much to offer a mate!
* Men are constantly asking me out on a date.
* It’s never too late for love.
* There is such thing as love and I embrace it in my life.
* There is enough time in the day for me to date.
* Love is joyful because I get to grow and become more of my best self.
* I create love in my life everyday.
* I am always connected to a power that is greater than me (whatever it is me) to attract me to the relationship of my highest & best good.
Now it’s your turn.
What are your new Unlimiting Beliefs about the Abundance of love?
So, the answer to the first question is: The good men have gone nowhere.
Its up to you to get yourself out there and find him!
About The Expert
Eris Huemer, M.A., is an internationally sought after relationship counselor and coach, author, speaker and CEO of SIRE Enterprises, who specializes in doing Love Makeovers with singles and couples. She can be found at http://loveeris.com/
Read yesterday’s expert article.
First Decide Whether You Like Him by Bobbi Palmer
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 27, 2012 - 7:00 AM
OK, I loved Bobbi Palmer’s advice so much that I asked her to dole out some more nuggets of dating wisdom! This time, she’s putting her own spin on my Become The Chooser video. Enjoy!
It’s pathetic how easily I can find my self acting like the insecure kid I was in high school. These days it doesn’t come up too much, but can happen when I meet someone I especially like and admire, and get the sense they don’t return the feeling. I can get to feeling so hurt and undeserving that I turn into a withdrawn ball of mush.
Sometimes it’s hard to ignore these feelings; real or not. Whether you’re 18 or over 58 rejection feels like crap. Over the years it’s caused me real pain. But there’s a difference between when it happened in high school and when it happens now. Now I’ve learned some life skills that help me through it. I have a conscious conversation with myself that goes something like this:
Stop! You’re acting like a high school girl. That woman has shown no clear signs that she doesn’t like or respect you. It’s all in your head. You’re being insecure. Just be your terrific self. There’s no reason she shouldn’t like you.
I try to drop myself back in reality, and be kind to myself. It almost always works.
This was definitely a pattern for me as I started dating and looking for love. When I’d meet a single man it only took me about 5 minutes to start trying to figure out if he liked me. Until I had that answer — or at least thought I had the answer — I was stuck in my head. The chatter was often overwhelming, and not just during the date. It lasted well after it was over. Looking back, I’m sure it affected how I acted when I met men, and it probably cost me some good dating action.
Once I learned the “be real and be nice to yourself” self-talk tool it helped me a lot when I was dating. It would lower the voice of that chatter. But it wasn’t until I got the following brilliant nugget from my super talented therapist that my dating and love life really changed:
First, decide whether you like him.
What a concept! Do you like him? Is this a man you feel good being with? Does he seem to have the qualities you are looking for in a close companion or potential husband?
I never considered that question because I was so wrapped up in whether he liked me. Do I like him? Once I learned to ask this first, it turned out that I didn’t even need to have that whole other conversation with myself. Because if the answer was “no” the rest didn’t matter.
It took me a lot of time and money to learn this. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it? It honestly changed the way I looked at men and, surprisingly, it changed the way I thought about myself. Asking and answering this first kept me from wasting time and energy wondering if I was liked by someone I didn’t even like. More importantly, it forced me to think of myself first. What do I want? Does this man seem worthy of me? These were questions I hadn’t been asking myself. And they are the most important questions.
During Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, try it. Next time you go on a date or just meet an available man, ask yourself: Do I like him? Let me know if it changes your dating experiences like it did mine.
About The Expert
Bobbi Palmer is a dating and relationship coach, speaker, blogger, and author helping smart, independent women find meaningful love while enjoying the dating along the way. (She should know…she followed her own advice and married the man of her dreams at 47!) You can read her blog and take her Man-O-Meter Test at http://datelikeagrownup.com.
Read yesterday’s expert article.
Robyn Vogel on What is flirting anyway?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 26, 2012 - 7:00 AM
During Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, are you wondering how to get started again after being out of the dating scene for so long? Are you wondering if you are still “in the game” – if anyone is going to find you attractive and if you have what it takes to attract someone?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you have a lot in common with most women who find themselves single after years in a relationship.
Well, I have confidence in you. I believe anyone can rejoin the world of flirting and dating at any point in their lives. Yes, there are a handful of skills you need to hone before going out to a party, club or social gathering with high hopes of attracting someone. Flirting is an important skill to master, but an easy one to learn.
Flirting is a very broad term. What comes to mind when you hear the word? The first thing that comes to me is a feeling of self-confidence: a self-assured man or woman with a warm, bright smile along with body language that says, “It’s safe to approach me” or “Stay there and I will approach you.” The smile and body language communicate that the interaction will be fun, playful and engaging. Who wouldn’t respond to an invitation like that?
Flirting is:
- eye contact that connects
- the confidence to share yourself with someone else
- breathing into feeling vulnerable and approaching someone anyway
- initiating that conversation and staying present with it
- having the courage to be yourself and not follow anyone else’s rules
- without expectation (or an end goal)
- playful, direct and honest (I can’t emphasize this enough!)
- is sexy and sensuous but not sexual (unless you choose it to be)
- and most of all flirting is a conscious choice to communicate interest in another
Here is one tip to get you started on your foray into the land of flirting and dating. Get paper and pen and write down all the amazing and unique things about you (go ahead, do it now). What are the top 3 things on that list that other people love about you? In a brief interaction with a prospective date, you can share those 3 things easily. As long as you know what they are weave them gracefully into the conversation (practice ahead of time if you need to!) Know your gifts and share them confidently.
For example, one thing people love about me is that they feel comfortable and at ease when they are around me. Since I’ve gotten that feedback again and again, I am sure to emphasize it when I meet someone. I do that by using direct eye contact and a gentle, warm touch on the person’s arm when talking or listening to them. These simple gestures put people at ease and let them know I am interested in getting to know them better.
Assessing your readiness and learning to flirt again will get you back into the dating scene with confidence and ease. Make this summer your time to flirt, date and have fun!
About The Expert
Robyn Vogel, MA, LMHC is a psychotherapist and an expert at flirting! She is successful at helping others build confidence, become naturally flirtatious, and attract the right person to them. More information can be found at www.RobynVogel.com.
Read yesterday’s expert article.
Julie Spira on How to Be Single and Ready to Mingle
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 25, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Today, you’re getting great tips from Julie Spira, a.k.a. The Cyber-Dating Expert. Find out how to rock your single and ready to mingle self with her amazing advice!
Perhaps you’re newly single and you’re waiting for your friends to fix you up. Before the phone starts to ring with potential dates excited about meeting you, you need to get in shape. Just like exercising before the summer to lose weight and fit into that bikini, you need to get ready to go out there and shine like the star that you are.
Here are some of my favorite pre-dating tips on how to get ready for your hot date. Try implementing them during Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
1.Leave the Baggage Behind.
If you are still pining away for your ex, have a conversation with yourself about why you are no longer together. Better yet, take a piece of paper and write down some of the negative traits to remind you it’s time to move on. Was he controlling? Did he have a roving eye? A bit too jealous? You need to dismantle him from the pedestal he was on and get ready for a new and exciting beginning. No guy is going to want to hear about the one who broke your heart. I have a saying, “Every Relationship Serves a Purpose, But is Limited.” Stand in front of the mirror and repeat it. It truly works.
2.Dress the Part.
How you dress tells a story. Men love to unwrap the package, so don’t reveal too much. A man will undress you with his eyes, even on your first date. It doesn’t mean he’s ready to jump into bed with you. Be subtle, and it’s still sexy. It’s just not an instant invitation to the bedroom.
3.Embrace Your Girlfriend Network.
Let everyone you know you would like to be fixed up. Mention it at the nail salon and hairdresser. Have a conversation at the post office with someone you might recognize. Find a supportive network of women who are single and can understand what it’s like to be in between relationships. Create a “Girls Night Out” which could include a movie with pre or post film cocktails. Dress flirty and smile. Let the men wonder, “Who’s that Girl?”
4.Practice the Art of Flirting.
Smile at men at the grocery store. Introduce yourself to the cute guy on the airplane. Compliment a man on his stylish tie at a business mixer. Even if you aren’t meeting the one, perhaps he has a friend he can introduce you to. 5.Cast a Wide Net. Join an online dating site. Accept every invitation that you can for both business and social events. Realize that the handsome chap you are having a conversation with may not ask you out on a date, but he could invite you and your girlfriends to a fun summer party. You may not click on a date, but what if he becomes your next big client? A date isn’t always about meeting “the one.”
Exercise your heart with these tune-up tips and you’ll be ready to mingle with a smile on your face and be open to all of the possibilities this summer and beyond.
About The Expert
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at http://cyberdatingexpert.com/.
Read yesterday’s expert article.
Jennifer Gauvain and Anne Milford on 3 signs you need to call off your wedding
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 24, 2012 - 7:00 AM
I often meet single women who are so singularly focused on finding a man they can marry that they lose all sense of reality and common sense. That’s why I’m soo excited to share this next article with you. I met Jennifer and Anne on Twitter, heard about their amazing book How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy, and just HAD to share their genius with you. So before you jump into the wrong relationship with both feet, read on…
As a relationship therapist and researcher, we’ve talked to hundreds of women who married the wrong guy for the wrong reason. What’s even more amazing is that every one of them knew they were making a mistake as they were walking down the aisle. What can we learn from their mistakes? If you hear yourself saying any of the following, it may be a sign that you need to call off your wedding or end your relationship:
“If it doesn’t work out, we can always get a divorce.”
If you are already thinking that divorce may be in your future, it should be a big red flag about the relationship. Divorce is a miserable, messy and expensive. The women we talked to said it was the most painful experience of their life. Even when YOU are the one serving the papers — it will be more stressful than you ever imagined. Don’t walk down the aisle with someone you’re not sure about.
“We’ve dated for so long; I don’t want to waste the time I’ve invested in the relationship.”
Don’t marry a guy just because you’ve dated him for a long time. Length of relationship does not equal healthy relationship. If you’ve been settling for a ho-hum, less than fulfilling romantic relationship, don’t turn it into a boring, unhappy marriage. He doesn’t have to be a liar and a cheater to be wrong for you.
“Things will get better after the wedding.”
What you see is what you get! Your relationship will not instantly change and improve after you get married. An unfaithful fiance will be an unfaithful husband. A short-tempered and dishonest boyfriend will be a short-tempered and dishonest groom. Don’t marry someone thinking they will change. If your groom-to-be has character traits or issues that you don’t like — don’t fool yourself into thinking they will magically disappear after your wedding.
While the women we talked to were very different, their reasons for going through with a mistaken marriage were surprisingly similar. We heard variations of these same three reasons over and over again. If you are telling yourself the same things, or believe that you may be marrying the wrong guy — you need to put the brakes on the wedding planning. Don’t say “I do” when you are thinking “I don’t!” For more reasons why women date and/or marry the wrong guy visit www.coldfeetpress.com.
About The Experts
Jennifer Gauvain, MSW, LCSW and Anne Milford are the authors of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He the One or Should You Run? (Broadway/Random House, May 2010).
Read yesterday’s expert article.
Jonathon Aslay On Dating & Relationships for The Woman of Tomorrow
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 23, 2012 - 7:00 AM
As a professional dating & relationship coach, I’ve helped many women with dating and relationship issues. This has led me to identify a few client “types” and approaches to dating and relationships that tend to work best for each. Three types I come across often are what I call the Woman of Yesterday, the Woman of Today, and the Woman of Tomorrow. While I enjoy coaching them all, I find it most rewarding to work with the modern day “Woman of Tomorrow.” In my experience, she is uniquely positioned to find lasting love and true partnership—which, any dating coach will tell you, is the brass ring. Who is the Woman of Tomorrow and how can I help her? I’m glad you asked.
The Woman of Tomorrow is defined by her self-awareness. She knows what she wants, goes after it, and invests in it. She does virtually nothing in life out of necessity. Rather, she does things out of desire, because she has choices, and knows it. This differs from the Woman of Yesterday, who is less independent and self-sufficient. Yesterday’s woman embraces her femininity in a way that supports the traditional view of man as protector and provider. She depends on her partner for security, and is happiest with a man who is fulfilled by supplying it.
The Woman of Today “has it all,” but subconsciously lives life according to society’s template. She is smart, strong, feminine, and successful, yet often struggles to balance career, family, and personal time. Today’s Woman reacts to what life throws at her and derives satisfaction from being a flexible multi-tasker. Her true partner is likewise an achiever, and prides himself on his accomplishments.
But, the Woman of Tomorrow has something more. She is the Woman of Today, minus the template. She is guided by an internal compass and empowered by self-awareness. Her thoughts and plans leverage her gifts, and are fueled by her desires. She has confidence in what tomorrow will bring because she has already envisioned it. To have a lasting romantic union, it is essential that she be with a man who is her true partner in everything—someone who fully appreciates her core being, has similar values and interests, and will evolve along with her.
While the Woman of Tomorrow prefers to be in a relationship, she’d rather be alone than settle for a merely “good” one. She leads a full and satisfying life and only accepts a partner who will enhance it. Tomorrow’s woman has a soft, feminine side that likes to be courted by the man she is dating. She is best suited with a secure, financially stable guy who continually works on himself and is emotionally available for a loving relationship—all things she is. As a couple, they do many things together, because they are best friends and passionate lovers.
The single Woman of Tomorrow is open to the possibility her partner will appear on her doorstep, but doesn’t expect or wait for it to happen. If she wants to meet someone, she searches for him with intent, doing her research, and seeking guidance and good counsel. That’s where I come in.
I help the Woman of Tomorrow locate her true partner by arming her with wisdom and focus.
What sets me apart from other dating coaches is that I know the male perspective and have a keen understanding of women. But most importantly, I listen and really get to know my clients. By tapping all my knowledge gleaned from dating and successfully guiding hundreds of women towards Mr. Right, my coaching enables Tomorrow’s woman to “date with purpose” and bring the man she desires to meet into her life.
The Woman of Tomorrow thrives on using empowering know-how to take fate by the hand and maximize her potential. My job is to help her achieve both in her love life… and grab that brass ring.
About The Expert
Professional dating coach and speaker Jonathon Aslay offers private and group dating and relationship coaching services nationwide. He also has a variety of e-books available for purchase. For more information about Jonathon and his services, visit jonathonaslay.com and facebook/jonathonaslay
Read yesterday’s expert article.
The Dating Makeover Coach on From Ice to Nice: Six ways to be more approachable
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 22, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Today’s featured expert is my good friend Kira Sabin, aka The Dating Makeover Coach. Kira’s got some valuable tips on how to become more approachable. Enjoy!
When I was in high school one of my friends was the most sought-after girl in school. I had other friends that were prettier, smarter and nicer but boys were crazy for her.
It took me a little while, but I finally figured out why she was constantly asked out, in a relationship or every guy’s dream girl. She was approachable.
She was pretty but not beautiful. She was smart, but not a know it all. She was always friendly, smiling and nice. Her secret: Every guy thought they had a shot at her. They always felt comfortable talking to her and she always made them feel great about themselves. She is now married to a wonderful guy who is also the whole package.
What is the point of this story? To let you know that just because you are beautiful, smart and successful doesn’t mean that meeting people is going to be easy. In fact it may even be harder. Does that suck? Maybe, but it is true.
In case you haven’t noticed, men are fragile souls. Many times more fragile than we are. If they think for any reason they are going to be rejected, they are not climbing aboard that train. It’s going to take a little work from you.
Many times the gregarious guys who are approaching you are in for a challenge and once they conquered that challenge they will find a new one. The better bet for good relationships are the healthy, great guys who just need a little encouragement to know that if they come up to you, they are not going to be making a complete ass of themselves.
Here are six ways to get you dating and mating in no time.
1. Get off your stinkin’ cell phone. It’d be a bummer if your dream man was beside you for coffee, but you were to busy talking to your friend about last night’s “Real Housewives of New York City” episode.
2. Get a partner in crime. If you were a guy would you approach a group of four or more women? Heck no. It’s too scary and too many people staring as he tries to talk to you. Going somewhere? Go with one friend (hopefully one who can you talk you up if the situation arises).
3. If you are going somewhere alone (even if it is to meet somebody), make an entrance. Walk in the door, pause for three to five seconds in a confident stance so everyone can notice you and scan the room with a smile on your face.
4. If you are sitting, make sure you are facing outward with your body toward people. If you are only turned toward your friend then your body is saying “we are in a closed conversation.” With both of you facing to room, it says, “we are nice and friendly, come talk to us.”
5. When you notice someone interesting looking at you, look back. Holding eye contact for three seconds lets him know you are interested, if he holds the eye contact with you, he’s interested too. To seal the deal, look away for a minute or two, then look back and smile. Look down and up again. If he doesn’t come over after that, he is in a relationship or not in a place to date.
6. If he strikes up a conversation with you, keep it light friendly and have fun with it. Keep sarcasm to a minimum. What seems okay to you, may not be for him. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a sense of humor, it just means he doesn’t know you well enough to know when you’re joking. This crucial: If you are interested, let him know. I said that he has to ask you out, but giving him a nudge by sharing that you have really enjoyed talking to him and would love to again is just smart. Not desperate. Smart.
Smart is good.
About The Expert
As The Dating Makeover Coach, Kira works with her clients on body language, how to make their living spaces dating friendly, and how to cook a fantastic date dinner. She is a professionally certified coach through the International Coach Academy and can be found at http://www.kirasabin.com/.
Read yesterday’s expert article.
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