Day 30: Celebrate YOUR success!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on March 1, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Woohoo! Welcome to Day 30 in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge!
What was your favorite part of the challenge? What did you find most challenging?
Did you gain new dating skills, like how to flirt, how to talk to men, and how to be a man magnet in target rich environments.
What kind of results did you experience?
I can’t WAIT to here how you did during the challenge.
Even if you only implemented a few of the tips, celebrate your success. Treat yourself to a mani-pedi. A glass of wine. A relaxing massage. And keep rocking these tips moving forward.
And be sure to share your Woohoo!s here on the blog.
Click here to start my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge for Singles.
Day 29: Do you know the difference between Mr. Next and Mr. Right?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 29, 2012 - 7:00 AM
With just two days left in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, let’s review what you’ve been learning…
You’ve broken free from your belief that all men are JERKS.
You’ve unlocked the secrets of staying sexy, stylish, AND single over 40.
You’ve even learned how to date like a grownup.
Next, it’s time to understand the subtle differences between Mr. Next and Mr. Right. That way, when he shows up, you can recognize the difference.
Mr. Next is any guy you date who’s got potential. You can date Mr. Next as long as you want until you realize that he’s not a suitable match for you and your long-term goals and relationship requirements. Once you recognize that he’s not the guy for you, let him go. That way, you cut down on wasted dating time for both of you.
Mr. Right on the other hand is an elusive but oh so worth the wait guy who meets all of your relationship requirements, is emotionally available for commitment, and shares similar values and long-term goals. It takes time to find Mr. Right, and that’s fantastic! Not just anybody can be your perfect partner. Choose wisely.
For more on the sometimes subtle differences between Mr. Next and Mr.Rright, pick up my book If He’s Not The One, Who Is? What went wrong and what it takes to find Mr. Right.
And be sure to share your Woohoo!s here on the blog.
Click here for Day 30 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
2 Reasons Good Men Are Getting Harder to Find
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 28, 2012 - 4:50 PM
Have you noticed that the dynamics of dating and relationships aren’t what they used to be, say, just a few years ago?
The pace of change is accelerating, and just like a lot of other things in the world, the change hasn’t necessarily all been good.
And when it comes to love and dating, it hasn’t been better for women AT ALL. Keep reading, you’ll learn why…
If you’re a single woman, you may have noticed that it’s been more challenging than ever to find and get the attention of a QUALITY man.
I’ve worked with hundreds of single women and I hear a lot of the same things from these heartbroken and confused women over and over:
“The only kind of men I’m meeting lately are deadbeats or players.”
“I can’t get past two or three dates before he disappears.”
“I thought he was into me, but he never called again. What did I do wrong?”
“It just seems that attractive, successful guys want to hook up, but don’t want to commit.”
And then there’s the thing that no woman wants to hear, that’s coming out of men’s mouths more and more nowadays:
“I like you, but there’s just something missing. I don’t know what.”
Grrrr….
In other words, there’s a trend happening, and that trend is making it harder than ever to find, attract, and keep a quality man. You know, a man with looks, brains and ambition to do something great in the world.
In general, it’s harder than ever to fall in love, and stay in love.
It’s not that there are LESS good men out there, it just feels like it because there are more quality women than ever, all vying for the same men. And the ones who actually WOULD make amazing partners, husbands and fathers are often LESS interested in commitment as a result.
Have you noticed this? I have.
Now, I can give you anecdotal evidence all day. And my friend Carol Allen can tell you about the clients who call her daily to ask what they’re doing wrong and why, despite the fact that they’re beautiful, educated and “together” they can’t find a decent man for a long-term relationship.
(Slackers and players is all they’re meeting, from what they tell her. My fantastic single girlfriends say the same thing…)
Carol can tell you about the gorgeous, successful women she meets ALL THE TIME who can’t seem to get past date #2 or 3 with men they claim to be their emotional, intellectual and spiritual “equal.” They meet a great man, but he quickly disappears.
But aside from any conversations and personal observations she’s had, I’ve also read articles, studies and statistics that are confirming what many single American women are experiencing every day.
And that is, that it’s harder than ever to find true love and get married.
For example, one study explains why there seem to be less and less traditionally “marriage-able” men than ever before. Today, more women than men are getting college degrees and advanced degrees, and more women than men are holding down good paying, professional jobs. Young, childless urban women are earning 8 percent more than their male counterparts.
Men are losing ground due to the failing economy, and less men are employed in steady, good-paying jobs and less are able to afford to go to school.
(There’s where the “slacker” comments come from.)
And no longer do they have to get married, or even date a woman exclusively, to have sex. (Which is where the “player” comments come from.)
And the men who do have status, career and looks are GAINING power in the dating realm. They actually have more and more women clamoring for their attention, and therefore are not in a rush to settle down with any ONE woman. Not even a smart, pretty one. They’re taking their time, playing the field, and calling the shots.
In other words, the more successful a man is, the less interested he is in commitment.
At least, not unless he’s totally BLOWN AWAY by a woman. He has to feel that you’re one in a million, and completely his equal… and then some.
That’s right – that amazing, handsome man can be spooked by anything… not a hair out of place and or food in your teeth on the first date, or he’s G-O-N-E.
Matchmakers all say that singles now are looking more for what’s wrong than what’s right…
You have to impress that great guy like you’ve never had to impress a man before.
As if that wasn’t enough to make you want to throw up your arms in disgust (or just throw up), statistics show that less women in their 30s are married today than in the last half century.
Yeah, well, NO WONDER.
And more than ever, men and women are citing “abstract” reasons for breaking up, such as “I’m just not feeling it” as a reasonable excuse for ending what otherwise was a good relationship.
Again, Ugh…
WHY YOU NEED AN “EDGE” TO FIND AND KEEP LOVE IN 2012
If you’ve felt the burn of go-nowhere relationships and heartbreak, and these statistics are freaking you out, you might be thinking that you may only have two choices at this point:
5. Be okay with being alone. Maybe forever.
6. Lower your standards.
I know that neither sounds fun. I mean, regardless of what best-selling books have to say on the subject, if you’re like most women, you’re just not into “settling” for someone you won’t be madly in love with, and you’re not into giving up on your dreams of love and marriage, either.
That’s why what you need is an EDGE. Especially in the fast-paced, just-a-click-away world of internet dating and on-demand hook-ups. A man can easily pass you over and disappear because he thinks you don’t “get” men. He’s not worried that he didn’t stick around, because there’s another beautiful, together, smart woman just around the corner – heck, every corner! – who just might be the one… and he’s probably right.
The world is his oyster, so to speak. And if he’s an emotionally stable, good-looking, intellectually ambitious man, he may have his pick of dozens of equally amazing women to fall for.
So what’s a girl to do?
Besides bury her head in a gallon of Hagen Daaz and call it an evening?
I’ll tell you…
What you need is an edge to stand out from the sea of fantastic women who are all trying to get the attention of those rare fantastic men. You need to know more about men and you need to have “insider knowledge” about what makes a man tick, what he’s looking for in a woman, and how you can melt his heart.
I mean, these women have probably read the same self-help books you have, and they’ve probably spent a lot of money on their clothes, skin, hair, and bodies and have taken expensive flirting workshops.
So how do you get that edge they don’t have?
You need to learn what men want, and use that knowledge to be the most compelling, attractive and magnetic woman you can possibly be to the kind of man you really want.
Even though Carol works with women every day, helping them discover just how to do that and she’s read hundreds of books and has studied everything she could get her hands on about relationship dynamics, she’s just another woman with theories on men.
But she knew that what would help women most is to hear what REAL MEN have to say.
Fortunately for her (and now the rest of us), is that she knows not just a lot of real men, but men who have made it their jobs to know this very thing… and they, too, help and guide women to get the love they deserve.
These are men with radio shows, published books, appearances in major media outlets like The New York Times and “The Today Show.” They’ve helped thousands of women… even millions… find and keep the man of their dreams.
They’re not just brimming with good ideas, they know exactly what men really want and are looking for in a lifelong partner.
Carol knew that if she could uncover the secrets of these savvy and attractive men (most of whom are single themselves), she could really help women get that edge they so desperately need these days.
So, she sat down with 8 of these amazing men and interviewed them about “What Men Want.” She got them to reveal what a woman MUST know about men in order to have what it takes to make a man fall in love and want to commit.
She asked them detailed, personal questions (sometimes about their own love lives).
They told her the truth about men that very few women know. They told her what kind of woman stands out in their mind, what makes them fall in love, and what a woman must do or avoid in order to win a man’s heart. She even got one expert to reveal the “bedroom secrets” and deepest desires of men! (And it was better than any issue of “Cosmo” magazine, I assure you.)
The result is her newest audio program, “What Men Want”. It’s over 10 hours of intense insights and revelations about men’s deepest desires and biggest pet-peeves when it comes to dating, love, marriage and sex.
To read more about this program and to start listening to these men reveal what you need to know, click here: http://bit.ly/z8zp4y
Carol’s new “What Men Want” audio program might just be the missing link to finally getting the relationship you’ve been wishing for. It will give you a winning strategy because you’ll find out:
>> What to say when you bump into a great guy during chance encounters in order to get his attention.
>> What to do and not do on a first date, so you don’t “spook” him and instead intrigue him to want to see you again and again.
>> What playing hard to get, dating other men, or pretending that you aren’t looking for a serious relationship REALLY does to a man’s interest and emotions.
>> When to be physically intimate, so he doesn’t get the wrong impression of you.
(Most of the experts agreed on this one…)
>> What personality trait all women have (but most women don’t cultivate) is completely irresistible to a man, and makes him want to be with you.
>> What makes a man NEED you and FALL IN LOVE with you, and really feel that connection that blows him away enough to want you in his life forever.
>> What turns a man on the most in bed. (Despite what you may think, it has nothing to do with any position, physical attribute or skill. You won’t believe what men really crave above all else to feel good with you, physically.)
>> What men fear most and will withdraw immediately if they sense this from you.
>> And much more.
THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT MEN WANT
After reading all this bad news about the decline in relationship-worthy men, you may wonder if there’s any good news about men and dating.
There is!
If there’s one thing that stood WAY OUT of each and every interview in the “What Men Want” program, it’s that good men, regardless of the impression they give to women, actually want a deep, committed relationship.
That’s right. Men WANT relationship. They don’t want to be alone. They don’t want to date a different woman every week. They want to fall in love and they want to feel utterly and completely in love for the rest of their lives.
The want it as much as you do, but they just haven’t found the right woman. Yet.
You will be the right woman.
You will have the edge. You will know what men want. You will inspire their greatness.
That one special man will want to be everything for you, and will go out of his way to make you happy and be your hero.
That’s because you’ll know him better than most women after listening to and knowing “What Men Want,” you’ll push all the right buttons in him, and he won’t be able to resist being with you. Here’s how you can do that: http://bit.ly/z8zp4y
I look forward to hearing your success story!
Day 28: Does the idea of finding Mr. Right freak you out?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 AM
I rarely talk about what to do AFTER you meet a great guy.
And yet I find that this is where most women truly struggle.
We say we want love. We say we’re ready. And then when someone really great shows up who’s interested and available, we freak out. We sabotage. We run the other way.
Sound familiar?
As someone who has been there and done that, I had to break free of my own fears about actually finding love. My fears of being seen, heard, vulnerable, not to mention being in a relationship with an imperfect person. I had been looking for perfection for so long I couldn’t even accept a good man into my life when he showed up.
Until I broke free of my fear of what love actually looks and feels like.
If the idea of being in a relationship, taking risks, being vulnerable, and falling in love with an imperfect person terrifies you, pay attention to that. And works to shift your thinking.
Healthy and happy life is imperfect. You do have to be vulnerable. And that’s okay. That’s fantastic!
Surrender to the imperfectness of love. Give good guys a chance. And be willing to be imperfect yourself.
Got questions? Post them here
Click here for Day 29 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
Day 27: Are you addicted to a man’s potential?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 27, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Be honest. Do you fall over and over again for a man’s potential, only to be devastated and disappointed when he doesn’t measure up?
Stop. This is a vicious cycle you need to break free from.
So many women believe that a man’s potential is who he really is.
They’re wrong.
Who a man is TODAY is who he really is. Trust that. Believe that. And don’t try and change him.
If you cannot accept a man for who he is right this minute, don’t date him. Falling in love with potential will only leave you feeling frustrated. And it will only make your man feel like a huge disappointment.
It doesn’t matter if he’s the most talented artist, the most amazing singer, uber smart with tons of potential. If he’s not living up to that potential today and you can’t accept that, do not date . Period.
Instead, get clear about what you really want. Stop dating in extremes and date in the middle. And love yourself enough to stop sabotaging your love life by falling in love with potential.
Got questions? Post them here. I can’t wait to hear from you!
For more tips on finding Mr. Right check out the links below
Want to start the 30 day challenge from the beginning? Click here!
Is it time to hire a dating coach?
Click here for Day 28 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
Day 26: Do you believe love is out of reach?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 26, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Do you believe love is possible for everyone but you?
Are you convinced that you’re somehow the exception to the rule that happily ever after exists?
If so, then this is the REAL reason you’re single.
If our beliefs match our reality — and they do — then whatever you believe shows up for you every day.
Rather than spend another minute in despair about why love isn’t possible for you, why not instead shift your beliefs?
If needed, have amnesia for a day. Surrender to the fact that you have no idea when Mr. Right will show up. And live and love your life anyway. Pretend you have no relationship history bogging you down and TRUST that love is available for you. Tweak your love vocabulary and practice it throughout the day.
Report your progress and setbacks here. Good luck!
Want more tips on rocking the 30 day challenge? Check out the links below!
Catherine Behan on Before You Try E-Harmony, Get a Dose of Me-Harmony
For more juicy tips, check out this link
Click here for Day 27 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
Day 25: Plan a Girls Night Out
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 25, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Now that you know how to talk to cuties every day, how to magnetize men, and how to flirt, today is the perfect day to play! So gather your gal pals for a girls’ night out.
Be strategic about where you go and what you do. The goal is to put into practice all of the skills you’ve been learning. So start by inviting three healthy and happy single girlfriends. Identify the ideal target rich environment for all of you. Then get all dolled up, put yourself out there, and have fun.
Make sure you’re approachable and easy going. Men can be intimidated by women in groups.
Practice being each other’s wing women, scoping out cuties and making connections. Laugh, be playful, enjoy yourselves. And above all else, have fun!
I can’t wait to hear where you and your gal pals go on your girls night out!
For more tips like this, click here
Click here for Day 26 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
Day 24: F*** your beliefs
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 24, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Ever wish you could have amnesia and wipe the slate clean of your limiting beliefs and bad love habits?
Do it today. Here’s how…
Instead of walking around with the same old tired belief system that says love is out of reach, relationship success is for others, that time has run out on your chance to get love right, change your story today.
Seriously, rewrite it. Get out a pen and paper and write the story you want to have. Get specific.
See yourself falling madly in love with someone who is equally crazy about you.
Picture your dream wedding. Be there. What music is playing? What food are you serving? How does it feel to be this blissfully in love?
No, this is not some cruel joke. By having amnesia for a day and connecting to the love you want and deserve, you give yourself permission to rewrite your story. You create the opportunity to break free of whatever is holding you back from believing it can actually happen for you.
If this exercise seems trivial or pointless, DO IT. Resistance proves that you need to do this exercise. Have fun with it. Play! Get creative! Give yourself the happily ever after ending you truly desire. You deserve it.
Once you’ve rewritten your beliefs, embody them for a day. Walk around strutting your stuff and knowing that your happily ever after future already exists. Mr. Right may not have shown up yet. But he’s here. And he’s doing everything possible to get to you. So why not do everything possible to get to him, including rewriting your story?
Share our stories here on the blog. I can’t wait to hear from you!
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
Are fairy tales F***ing with your head!? Click here!
Click here for Day 25 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
Day 23: Talk to a cutie who intimidates you
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 23, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Now that you’ve gotten comfortable making conversation with men you don’t know every day, learned some fabulous flirting skills, and have surrendered to the fact that you have no idea when Mr. Right will show up, I’ve got another comfort zone pushing task for you today.
Approach and talk to a cutie who intimidates you.
You heard me! Now is the time to summon up that inner strength, connect to the catch you really are, and get your flirt on with someone you find exciting and intimidating. This is the next step in your progress during my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
By pushing your comfort zone, you’ll blast through any remaining beliefs that say you’re not worthy of love.
Today’s task may feel incredibly uncomfortable. Breathe and do it anyway. And then celebrate yourself, no matter what the results are. You took a risk — woohoo!
Feeling challenged? Share your resistance here. Rocking today’s tip? Share that, too!
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
Click here for Day 24 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
Day 22: Are you trying to keep up with Ms. and Mrs. Jones?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 22, 2012 - 7:00 AM
Are you ultra competitive with other women?
Do you believe that there is NOT enough love or happiness to go around and so you need to hoard some for yourself?
Are you living in such scarcity, lack, and fear that you can’t be happy for other people’s success?
Today, break free of your need to keep up with the Ms. and Mrs. Joneses of the world. Learn to celebrate other women’s success and happiness. Be inspired by it. When you do, you’ll realize that there’s room for all of us at the top.
In breaking free from scarcity and lack, your new attitude will be incredibly attractive. Amazing opportunities will come your way — in life, career, success, and love. Woohoo!
For more tips like this, check outhttp://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
For more tips on finding Mr. Right check out the links below!
Do you feel ungrateful about your love life?
Having trouble believing good men are out there? Click here!
Click here for Day 23 of Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge
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