Tis the Season to…Pamper Yourself!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 26, 2011 - 7:00 AM
In the past, did you put a lot of time, energy, emotion, and money into loving, nurturing, and helping your ex feel better about himself?
And he’s gone, are you feeling direction-less?
Now’s the time to pour all of that great energy into yourself.
This holiday season, you have a conscious choice to make.
You can either focus on who’s missing and who you’re not buying presents for…
Or you can take that energy and splurge on yourself!
Maybe you’ll splurge on a spa day.
Maybe you’ll take the money you were going to spend on your ex and put it in the bank, save it, and put it towards buying your first property in 2010.
Now’s the time to treat yourself with excellent self love and self care throughout the holiday season.
Take time this holiday season to step back, love yourself, honor yourself, and pamper yourself.
For more tips on how to celebrate being single and ready to mingle this holiday season and into 2011, enroll in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge for Singles.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
When will you unleash your ROAR?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 25, 2011 - 7:00 AM
I’ve got a question for you. Are you playing it safe?
Are you living small, playing by the rules, and in general, tiptoeing through your life?
If so, how’s that working for you?
More importantly, how’s that NOT working for you?
How has playing by the rules kept you stuck, limited, and unsatisfied?
How have you squelched the authentic part of you that wants more, dreams bigger, and believes in possibility?
Maybe playing it safe has kept you in unsatisfying relationship after unsatisfying relationship.
Maybe living small has kept you from pursuing your dreams, taking a risk, and stepping outside your comfort zone, all necessary requirements for living your dream life.
I see it time after time. Women choosing to play it safe because they don’t know how to unleash their ROAR.
Women settling for less than they deserve in life and love because they’re too afraid to open their mouths and ROAR.
Are you one of them?
And if so, when will you unleash your ROAR?
What’s it going to take for you to step up to your Remarkable Openness to Awakening and Reinvention?
That’s really what I’m talking about. When you ROAR, you’re really…
- Awakening to what’s possible
- Opening up to making change and getting better results
- Summoning the inner strength to reinvent in the face of fear and uncertainty
If you ask me, the time is now. You’ve played it small long enough. And look what it’s gotten you…
- Mediocre relationships
- A so-so life
- Heartbreak after heartbreak
- The general feeling that you’re not living your best life
So again, I want to know…
What’s it going to take for you to unleash your ROAR?
As someone who has had her fair share of life’s ups and downs, faced reinvention time after time, and constantly challenges herself to ROAR, I want to help you.
I want to help you unleash your ROAR!
Sounds scary? It’s not. In fact, it’s freeing, fabulous, and fun! And it starts with a simple and profound baby step.
It starts with committing to your ROAR right this minute.
Again, I ask…
What’s it going to take for you to unleash your ROAR?
What’s it going to take for you to let go of the never ending cycle of:
- Mediocre relationships
- A so-so life
- Heartbreak after heartbreak
- The general feeling that you’re not living your best life
And instead embrace what’s possible including:
- Healing your heart and attracting the love of your life
- Living life on a grander scale, fully committed to your most authentic self
- Breaking free of all limiting beliefs and self sabotaging behaviors to live your dream life
This is such an exciting time for you.
I can’t wait for you to unleash your ROAR!
Post your ROAR experiences here.
How to Beat The Holiday Blues BEFORE Thanksgiving
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 24, 2011 - 7:00 AM
As the holidays approach, it’s all too easy for a single gal to start feeling sorry for herself. Frustrated that yet another year went by without meeting Mr. Right, you can start to feel like the entire year was a big fat waste of your time. But the truth is, you’ve got plenty to celebrate this holiday season. So before you start feeling sorry for yourself, instead start celebrating your fab single self. Here’s how:
Single Strategy #1: Focus on friends and family
Instead of obsessing about what went wrong with your ex or why you didn’t meet the love of your life this year, focus your energy and attention this holiday season on your friends and family. You are loved by many people! You may just need to tweak your perspective. Take some time to reconnect with old friends, tell a family member how much you love them, and in turn heal your broken heart.
Single Strategy #2: Pamper yourself
Think of all the money you’re saving by being single this holiday season! No ungrateful ex to shop for, no annoying in-laws to visit, no ridiculous lovers’ spats after one too many cups of eggnog. This holiday season, celebrate your single status by pampering yourself. Spend a day at the spa. Splurge a little on gifts for yourself. Decorate your home to your heart’s content. Whatever floats your boat, you’re footloose and fancy free to do it!
Single Strategy #3: Reserve the right to say “None of your bees-wax”
Nosey relatives asking too many questions about What went wrong? Well-meaning but intrusive friends trying to tell you what to do to find love? This holiday season, your single status is nobody’s business but your own. So when someone sidles up to you with a gossip gleam in their eye and asks, “So where’s What’s His Name?” reserve the right to protect your healing heart. Simply smile and say, “None of your business.” Or, if you’re so inclined, choose a more radical response, i.e. “I shipped him off to Afghanistan for the new year,” or “He’s contemplating his bad behavior from behind ex-boyfriend bars.”
Single Strategy #4: Become your own arm candy
Stressed about going to holiday parties alone? Instead of fretting about all those outings by yourself, celebrate being single by being your own arm candy! Before going to the party, stop by the mall makeup counter and get a professional makeover. Wear that saucy red dress and stiletto boots. (Or if you’re a guy, invest in that cologne that makes women weak at the knees, or buy a new sweater or blazer that makes you feel like the hunk o’ man you are). Then walk into the party like you own the room. Go ahead – give yourself permission to be your own arm candy!
Single Strategy #5: Give yourself permission to celebrate your slump
There will be times this holiday season when you won’t feel like celebrating. Times when you will want to mourn the loss of your past relationship or feel sorry for yourself for still being single. And that’s okay. Give yourself permission to turn down a party invitation or two in favor of curling up with a good book, a glass of wine, or your favorite sappy movie in your pajamas at home. This is your life – feel it, celebrate it, let it go!
What do you think about these 5 tips? Share your comments here on my blog.
Ready to rock your love life this holiday season? Enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Need hands on help fighting the holiday blues? Pick up a copy of my books It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good! or If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right.
Ready to manifest Mr. Right? Grab your copy of my new e-book How to Meet Your Husband: Unlock the 5 Essential Secrets to STOP Attracting Jerks, Get Out Of Your Dating Desert, and Manifest Mr. Right.
No annoying in-laws this holiday season? Woohoo!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 23, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Being single during the upcoming holiday season is full of challenges. Maybe you’re frustrated you didn’t meet Mr. Right in 2010. Maybe you’re feeling sorry for yourself that you’re minus a Plus One at all the upcoming holiday parties you’re going to. And maybe you feel lost when it comes to how to meet your husband.
Before you spend the holiday season feeling sorry for yourself, listen up. Over the next few weeks, I’ll share some of the many ways you’ll want to celebrate your single status this holiday season.
Celebration #1: No In-Laws
Take a look back at your relationship history. If you had difficult in-laws, relatives of your ex who weren’t very nice, or maybe even friends of your ex that used to pick on you or degrade you, now’s the time to give thanks that they’re gone.
Now’s the time to surround yourself with people you actually like.
And if you don’t like your own family, give yourself permission not to spend the holidays with them. Find a family that works for you. If you have friends, see if you can hitch a ride with them to their family celebration.
Not having to spend time with in-laws you’re not fond of this holiday is a great thing to celebrate! Choose the friends and family you surround yourself with this holiday season. Make new traditions that are fun, celebratory, and fabulous!
Report your successes and setbacks to me on my Facebook Fan Page.
For more tips on how to celebrate being single and ready to mingle this holiday season and into 2011, enroll in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge for Singles.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
Are Bad Love Habits Keeping You Single?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 22, 2011 - 7:00 AM
In the search for love, it’s easy to get sidetracked by bad dates, broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken hearts are part of the journey toward happily ever after, bad love habits are an unnecessary evil that you can easily break free of once you identify those silent saboteurs.
So what’s a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, dramatic belief you have about love, your general worthiness, and what’s possible for you on the dating scene. The following are some common bad love habits:
• Do you secretly fear that the guys you really want to date aren’t into you, while the guys you’re not into can’t get enough of you? (And if so, how’s that working in your dating life?)
• Do you choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs?
• Do you think love and relationships have to be difficult, disappointing, dramatic, and/or depressing?
• Are you convinced that your potential partner is going to fix whatever it is that you don’t like about yourself or your life so you don’t have to do anything right now but sit back and wait for him to show up?
• Are you terrified that time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children?
The good news is, you’re not alone. Millions of women, myself included, have at one time or another fallen prey to bad love habits and limiting relationship beliefs.
The even better news is that there IS a solution!
The following are just a few of the simple and effective tips and techniques that, when practiced over time, will help you kick any bad love habit – for good!
Identify any dating traps you suffer from
Think you’ve got to miraculously solve all your problems before you’ll be deserving of love? Convinced there are no good “ones” left? Or do you believe that a man will one day swoop in and magically save you from your life? If any or all of the above sound familiar, chances are good that you suffer from some common dating traps. In order to become a successful single, you first need to free yourself from these traps. Next, you’ve got to break free of any other limiting or destructive beliefs about love and relationships. To find out how, keep reading.
Assess your excess baggage
Next, it’s important to get honest with yourself about what you might be lugging around with you on dates. What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment, betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. If you’ve got negative or destructive beliefs or fears weighing you down, you owe it to yourself to dump that excess baggage!
Dump your excess baggage
In order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe you deserve one. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and tell them they’ve got to go. Thank them for the lessons you’ve learned and tell them that it’s now time for you to stand on your own 2 feet. In your mind’s eye, give them the heave ho!
Stop putting off your life and/or personal happiness
So many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result like “I’ll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I get a better job,” etc. The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously imperfect life right this very minute! When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until something external happens, today’s the day to start celebrating the joy in your everyday life.
Embrace a new dating vocabulary
Now that you’re baggage light and dating trap free, it’s time to introduce a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself “Love/dating/my ideal relationship is ____.” And then fill in the blank with the appropriate words. (Words like healthy, whole, loving, fun, etc.) By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes too, and as a result, you may start attracting happier and healthier potential partners. Love that!
For more on how to kick your bad love habits and welcome a better dating future, dive into Bad Love No More: How to kick limiting relationship beliefs to the curb and say yes to real and lasting love!
Day 30: Celebrate YOUR success!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 21, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Woohoo! Welcome to Day 30 in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge!
What was your favorite part of the challenge? What did you find most challenging?
Did you gain new dating skills, like how to flirt, how to talk to men, and how to be a man magnet in target rich environments.
What kind of results did you experience?
I can’t WAIT to here how you did during the challenge.
Even if you only implemented a few of the tips, celebrate your success. Treat yourself to a mani-pedi. A glass of wine. A relaxing massage. And keep rocking these tips moving forward.
And be sure to share your Woohoo!s here on the blog.
Are you scared to be single?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 20, 2011 - 7:00 AM
When it comes to being single, what scares you the most…
Standing on your own two feet?
Not having a date on Saturday night?
Never dating again?
Never meeting your perfect partner, falling in love, and experiencing your very own version of happily ever after?
All of the above?
The truth is, you ARE worthy of love, warts and all. Your happily ever after still exists. It’s just up to you to redefine it. In the meantime, it’s okay to be scared to be single. It may be new and unfamiliar territory, but guess what? As uncomfortable as it can sometimes feel, being single is also a gift and a blessing. And in time, you may just discover that you actually enjoy being single.
So how do you change how you feel about being single?
First, you admit that you still want to find love. That’s natural, normal, and biological.
Second, you surrender to NOT knowing when it will show up.
Then, you start creating a life YOU love, complete with taking full responsibility for your emotional well being, your financial fitness, and any other baggage that may be weighing you down.
And then you put yourself in target rich environments several times a week.
And celebrate fabulous YOU! In doing so, you’ll ease up on the self-imposed and societal pressure to couple up and instead live and love your life today.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Day 29: Do you know the difference between Mr. Next and Mr. Right?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 19, 2011 - 7:00 AM
With just two days left in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, let’s review what you’ve been learning…
You’ve broken free from your belief that all men are JERKS.
You’ve unlocked the secrets of staying sexy, stylish, AND single over 40.
You’ve even learned how to date like a grownup.
Next, it’s time to understand the subtle differences between Mr. Next and Mr. Right. That way, when he shows up, you can recognize the difference.
Mr. Next is any guy you date who’s got potential. You can date Mr. Next as long as you want until you realize that he’s not a suitable match for you and your long-term goals and relationship requirements. Once you recognize that he’s not the guy for you, let him go. That way, you cut down on wasted dating time for both of you.
Mr. Right on the other hand is an elusive but oh so worth the wait guy who meets all of your relationship requirements, is emotionally available for commitment, and shares similar values and long-term goals. It takes time to find Mr. Right, and that’s fantastic! Not just anybody can be your perfect partner. Choose wisely.
For more on the sometimes subtle differences between Mr. Next and Mr.Rright, pick up my book If He’s Not The One, Who Is? What went wrong and what it takes to find Mr. Right.
And be sure to share your Woohoo!s here on the blog.
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
Catherine Behan on Before You Try E-Harmony, Get a Dose of ME-Harmony
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 18, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Here’s some great advice from my friend Catherine Behan on how to check yourself before you wreck your love life…
“I hate on-line dating!” Maggie sighed. “Everyone lies and posts pictures of themselves from 15 years ago.”
“I know what you mean,” moaned Lisa. “I want a guy over 6 feet and the last three matches were all under 5? 8!”
Can you relate? Have you worked and worked on your online dating profile and still attract people you would never pick for yourself? What’s wrong with the system?
Personally, I have worked with many people who have had excellent results with online dating. Some, though still single, really enjoy the people they have met through these dating resources. So what’s the deal? Why aren’t more people lucky in on-line love?
If you aren’t finding a good match, could it be that YOU are not a good match? Is it possible that you aren’t projecting the whole picture? If you are attracting people that are not even close to your ideals, you just might need to focus on a little ME-Harmony before you go to E-Harmony.
Long time singles like yourself have a Lost Love Legacy that holds your future captive. Each person you have encountered along the way…BFFs included, have left a sort of footprint in your mind and heart. Some past relationships have been good and the breakups mutual. But, the fact is, all past relationships have disappointments and heartbreak that lodge themselves in your heart.
No one is perfect. People hurt each other in relationship when misunderstandings happen, no matter how hard you try not to. When you attract the exact opposite of who it is you want to be with, it is a sure sign that you are coming across with a confusing vibration. The Law of Attraction is relentless and always brings exactly what you are vibrating…not what you are hoping for.
One part of you craves to be loved and adored. Another fears opening deeply to let love in. One part of you wants to co-create a marriage that works. Another part is intimidated by the negotiating it takes to walk it out.
One part of you wants a partner who is open and vulnerable. Another part of you is terrified of being open and vulnerable. See what I mean?
When you focus on ME-Harmony, you learn you can accept your doubts and fears and still move forward. Making peace with the ghosts of relationships past is the fastest way to get there. Each heart break in your past holds the power to make you an amazing partner. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Finding self compassion and letting go of your hurts and disappointments will bring you to a place of shining self confidence.
When you have ME-Harmony, you may not even return to online dating. There is nothing more irresistible than a happy, confident person. Your luck in love will surely change when you choose that as your primary goal!
Curious about how to bring that harmony to yourself? Take the Soul Mate Quiz right here: http://AttractYourSoulMateNow.com
About The Expert
Catherine Behan is a gifted teacher, author, speaker, seminar leader and coach who has been helping people find True Love for over 30 years. She is the creator of “Seduce Your Saboteur: How To Enchant, Engage and Enlist Your Strongest Ally and Find True Love In 6 Months or Less.”
Day 28: Does the idea of finding Mr. Right freak you out?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 17, 2011 - 7:00 AM
I rarely talk about what to do AFTER you meet a great guy.
And yet I find that this is where most women truly struggle.
We say we want love. We say we’re ready. And then when someone really great shows up who’s interested and available, we freak out. We sabotage. We run the other way.
Sound familiar?
As someone who has been there and done that, I had to break free of my own fears about actually finding love. My fears of being seen, heard, vulnerable, not to mention being in a relationship with an imperfect person. I had been looking for perfection for so long I couldn’t even accept a good man into my life when he showed up.
Until I broke free of my fear of what love actually looks and feels like.
If the idea of being in a relationship, taking risks, being vulnerable, and falling in love with an imperfect person terrifies you, pay attention to that. And works to shift your thinking.
Healthy and happy life is imperfect. You do have to be vulnerable. And that’s okay. That’s fantastic!
Surrender to the imperfectness of love. Give good guys a chance. And be willing to be imperfect yourself.
Got questions? Post them here.
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
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